🇺🇸🇨🇦 The Bridge Tantrum

The Gordie Howe International Bridge.

Paid for by Canada.

Built to connect Detroit and Windsor.

You know, infrastructure.

The boring adult stuff countries do when they are not busy threatening each other over ice hockey.

And the demand? “Give us half.”

Half of what, exactly? The asphalt? The left lane? Tuesdays?

Trumps latest Truth Social tantrum reads less like foreign policy and more like a divorced dad arguing over patio furniture.

🏒 The Hockey Apocalypse

Then we detour into: China will cancel ice hockey in Canada.

First of all, that is not how sovereign nations work. China does not have a remote control labeled “CANADIAN CULTURAL SETTINGS.”

Second, threatening the extinction of the Stanley Cup like it is a Netflix series you can just cancel is… ambitious.

For context, the National Hockey League is mostly American teams anyway. Canada has not won the Cup in decades.

So the threat is basically:

“If you trade with China, I will cancel something you already have not won in 30 years.”

That is not leverage. That is sports trivia.

Distraction or Decline?

The question everyone is whispering into their group chats.

Is it a distraction?

Possibly.

Political strategy often looks like chaos with a purpose.

Flood the zone. Create outrage.

Shift the headline cycle.

When the conversation is about hockey extinction, it is not about whatever document dump, court filing, or financial tangle is simmering elsewhere.

Or is it cognitive unraveling?

The rambling, the weird lateral jumps from bridge ownership to China to hockey annihilation. It reads less like calculated menace and more like someone who discovered caps lock and refuses to surrender it.

Here is the uncomfortable truth: it can be both.

Authoritarian theatrics thrive on absurdity. The more surreal it becomes, the more people disengage.

They laugh.

They doomscroll.

They get tired.

Fatigue is a political tool.

And then, while everyone is debating whether China can delete hockey, something structural quietly shifts.

The real danger is not whether he can cancel the Stanley Cup.

It is whether enough people get so exhausted by the nonsense that they stop paying attention to the serious parts.

I think grandpa needs his unsupervised Internet access revoked.