For Immediate Release. Or Whenever It’s Convenient. The European Union expresses its deep concern regarding recent statements and actions by the United States. We are monitoring the situation closely. Very closely. With binoculars. From a safe distance. We urge all parties to engage in dialogue, restraint, de-escalation, and other soothing words that require no action whatsoever. The European Union reaffirms its commitment to international law, democratic values, and strongly

Trump’s tariffs spark chaos: fake math, burger logic, and global backlash. EU says non, merci. Markets spiral. Welcome to 1930 v2.