rump’s Greenland “deal” follows a familiar pattern: create a fake crisis, threaten escalation, declare victory, and end up with exactly what already existed. In this Daily Show–style monologue, the Greenland saga is compared to a taxi ride Trump never needed to hijack, exposing dealmaking as theater, diplomacy as collateral damage, and “I won” as a substitute for actual results.

At Davos, Trump’s speech unraveled into a chaotic monologue of misnamed countries, racist stereotypes, invented dependencies, and economic absurdities. Greenland became Iceland. Allies were told they would not exist without the US. Immigrants were smeared, facts were discarded, and threats replaced policy. The room offered no applause, only silence, as the speech collapsed into incoherent belligerence.