After eight peaceful months on tamoxifen, my uterus has launched its Halloween comeback tour. Three pairs of trousers died within six hours, every movement threatens another *Shining*-style elevator scene, and somewhere inside me, fibroids—known in Dutch as “meat trees”—are building the Upside Down. Welcome to the MeMo: post-breast-cancer bleeding, menopause chaos and enough natural special effects to make fake Halloween blood completely unnecessary.